Ikea is for lovers

So, I went to Ikea today to get a new nightstand since I'm on a new decorating quest. While I was perusing through the isles, I began to notice something...if you're feeling some type of way about your relationship status DO NOT go to Ikea. I'm surprised they let me in the front door without a date. I'm going to hope it's because the women don't want to load the heavy furniture into their vehicles. But because I am VP of the Super Single Club and just a general down a$$ b!t%# I carried my purchase out like an Old G. Say sumthin'...